Emotions are lent surprising weight, aren’t they? What we feel at any given point in time we perceive as reality. This is surprising because we know, intellectually, how quickly emotions change, and how we can rapidly switch to an ‘opposite’ emotion as events or facts come to light.
I think this is part of the problem when it comes to sin, and particularly sins of (emotional) gratification. Let’s say I have a particular weakness for smarties (work with me here). I eat more of them then I should, and I eat them when I’m feeling down and want to perk up.
At first it’s easy to resist them. Walk straight past the shop. Don’t go into that particular cupboard. It’s wrong to eat them.
However, time goes by. The perceived need for smarties increases, and doubts start to creep in. Come on, it’s only a smartie.. It doesn’t hurt anybody if I have a smartie.It’s not like I’m eating a toblerone or something like that.. It’s been an awful day, and I need a pick-me-up. Shortly after, the emotional switch occurs. It feels wrong becomes It doesn’t feel wrong.
At this point there is a choice, we either believe our emotion and re-assess our stance on the sinfulness of smarties, or we don’t.
Let’s say we decide smarties aren’t a sin after all (or possibly that want one so badly that we don’t care!). We go to the shop, buy a tube, and scoff the lot. The other way this story runs is I know a whole tube of smartess is bad for me, so I’ll just have one… Of course the reality is we don’t just have one.
Either way, the immediate ‘need’ sated, the truth dawns. Smarties are wrong. I’ve damaged my relationship with God and those around me. The Holy Spirit convicts us, and leads us to repentance. This process may take variable lengths of time, and it may be we turn back just before the first smartie, or only after 5 tubes. One of the signs of Christian maturity is a diminishing time gap between sin and repentance.
R.T. Kendall put it like this:
When the Spirit is absent, our excuses always seem right, but in the presence of the Spirit our excuses fade away.
Of course, smartees aren’t wrong, but you can substitute any particular weakness that comes between us and God; pornography, affairs, over/under-eating, smoking, over-drinking, drugs, lying, stealing, etc.
The insidious slippery slope also applies in all of these. I’m only looking at an underwear catalogue, for a present for my girlfriend,I’m only flirting with them, it’s not going to go anywhere,, I shouldn’t have a pud, but .. go on then,I only smoke socially,Oh ok – just one more drink.
Of course none of these are black and white either! God made men and women beautiful, and sex is a fantastic and wonderful gift. To admire someone’s beauty honours them and God. Similarly friendship and affection are important part of relationships, and to make someone feel better about themselves is ok. Food is essential, can be tasty and amazing, and shared meals are like oxygen to relationships. Once we drift into eating disorders and addictions the territory obviously changes again.
The thing that most depresses and frustrates me is that I eat a tube of smartees, throw myself on God’s mercy and receive his forgiveness… but then next time around manage to persuade myself that actually, in this particular situation, smartees are ok, and eat another tube. And so it goes on. More positively, the gap gets smaller and vanishes, and ultimately smarties no longer have such a hold in my life. Then God turns the spotlight onto my Dorito habit. We know that perfection and freedom from sin is the ultimate goal, and also that it’s not going to happen this side of glory.
I guess Paul is talking about this in Romans 7:
I want to do what is good, but I don’t do it. I don’t do the good that I want to do. I do the evil that I don’t want to do.
Which brings me to the title of this post. How many times in books, films, and songs to we hear a character say I’ve never felt this way before. This in itself is fine, and may or may not be true. The problem is the deductive step that follows …therefore, whatever I’ve felt in the past hasn’t been real, and nothing I feel in the future could be more real. In the words of Donna Summer This time I know it’s for real.
How can we delude ourself in this way, particularly in the sphere of relationships?
How can someone leave one relationship for another, on the basis that they feel more in love with the new person? How can you profess eternal undying love for someone when that commitment is based on the assumption that you will always feel the same for them, and will never feel more strongly for anyone else?
It’s like at school. You feel you work really hard, and couldn’t work any harder. Then you go to university, and suddenly you’re having to work really hard, and have no free time. Then you start work, and realise that you had masses of free-time as a student, and now you don’t have any. Then you have children, and truly discover what it means to have no free time. Then you look to third-world countries, where the people have to work all day every day just to gather food and water for that day.
I’ll finish with another qualification. Of course there are souls brought up in dysfunctional families (for example) who have never known true love and affection. Or those in abusive relationships who believe that certain patterns of behaviour are normal. Clearly in this instance the revelation regarding what love can mean and feel like is real and true.
Right, wrote rather more than I intended. Might have to pop out to get some smarties now…
While I’m not mad about the whole “x sleeps” thing that seems to have taken hold, inevitably at this time of year thoughts turn to Advent and Christmas (and it’s only 36 sleeps to that great celebration).
However, I still have 41 days to try and achieve my ambitions for 2011. One is now basically impossible (climbing), others are well and truly in the bag. A few more have a final little sprint..
But enough waffle, here are the scores!
Climbing. Failed. 5/20 times this year. Actually quite disappointed by this – I thought this would be year I get back into climbing in a big way, and get my fitness and technique back up to (almost) where it used to be. Still, might try and squeeze in another 2 before 2012.
Blogging. On track. 46/50 entries (with this one), so just one a week will nail it.
Growing Leaders. On Track. Last meeting will be this week, so pretty much there. I might put up some of the feedback, because it has been an awesome course that God seems to have used.
Cinema. Achieved. Caught The Smurfs over half-term. Entangled and The Smurfs are not my usual cinema fare, but I’ll take what I can get!
Weight. On Track. Not weighed myself that recently, but end of October was 69kg.
Photos. Achieved. Submitted photos to 2 competitions (and won one!), plus 194/366ths of the way through my 365. Also had a photo printed in the local paper (but unattributed, sadly).
Camping. Achieved – just the once in the back garden, but I’ll take that.
Cooking. Achieved – I’ll submit Mini tiramisu cakes and Treacle Tart as my two new dishes.
At the time I acknowledged it wasn’t a very ambitious list, although I am disappointed I couldn’t manage to climb twice a month.
I’ve felt that having ambitions is a far more positive thing then resolutions, and I believe I shall continue in 2012.
Yesterday was my 183rd photo, dedicated to Space Dog in his capsule:
I have to say it has been an absolute pleasure. None of these photos have been a chore. There have been varying degrees of effort put in for sure, and large variation in quality, but I have enjoyed even single one.
In fact, I don’t think I’m going to stop on the 8th May 2012!
There’s a pair of Red Kites who cruise around over Harrogate fairly regularly.
They are complete teases though, because they never circle for long enough for me to get my camera and long lens. I am determined to get a decent photo, but have so far been thwarted.
Out on a walk this afternoon came the closest yet, but sadly only had my 50mm lens on, so the results are fairly hopeless. Still, here’s what I managed, with a cropped version too.
I don’t normally post jokes that I’ve come across on the Internet and e-mail, but this one tickled me.
There was an engineer, manager and programmer driving down a steep mountain road. The brakes failed and the car careened down the road out of control. Half way down the driver managed to stop the car by running it against the embankment narrowing avoiding going over a cliff. They all got out, shaken by their narrow escape from death, but otherwise unharmed.
The manager said To fix this problem we need to organize a committee, have meetings, and through a process of continuous improvement, develop a solution.
The engineer said No that would take too long, and besides that method never worked before. I have my trusty pen knife here and will take apart the brake system, isolate the problem and correct it.
The programmer said I think you’re both wrong! I think we should all push the car back up the hill and see if it happens again.
Brought to my attention by the mighty Grove Books, but also 142,000,001 other places (now).
Anyway, back to the point – here’s a song that’s been recorded over 4 years (or something) and 3 continents, with something like 35 street musicians – who have never met one another. It’s a single tune woven together over time and space (oo there’s Dr Who again) in a coherent whole, and only the final contributer gets to hear how their contribution fits into the overall whole; and possibly not even that person depending on what’s being played in the headphones.
Some of the contributers play a huge part (Roger Ridley). Some play more minor roles (Washboard Chas). But all have a unique offering they bring. Some take part as a big group, other as individuals. Some instruments you expect (drum set, bass), others more surprising (sitar, tabla). Even different languages working to the same tune and harmony.
Each person’s contribution is blind (as I’ve said above), but co-ordinated by a person who has a grand vision and can see the whole picture, and whispers instructions in their ears that direct their natural ability and talent.
Each person plays their part, trusting in how the producer will take their offering and work it into the whole. They are working in unity to achieve a common goal. Furthermore, the motivation is to break down barriers, and promote peace, understanding, and social change.
Doesn’t the above kinda remind you of the (worldwide) Church at its best? Substitute the producer for the Holy Spirit, and you’re there. I find that a breath-taking picture. In fact, when I listened to One World earlier with my son on my lap, it moved me almost to tears (but I do get a bit emotional when I’m tired, I know!!)
Heard half an interview with someone on Radio 4, who was talking about a Producer called Mark Johnson who was walking down the street in Santa Monica, and heard a busker playing Stand by me, which launched a global project recording street musicians all around the world playing said song.
It sounded interesting – I love that song – and the mental image it conjured was of lots of different interpretations of the song around the world. So “this is what Stand By Me sounds like in Russia” (or whatever) kind of thing.
So I googled, and it turns out to be So Much Better. Take a look at www.playingforchange.com (you need to give it to at least 1 min 15 seconds.) – also embedded below (hopefully!)
This song transformed Playing For Change from a small group of individuals into a global movement for peace and understanding.
This track features over 35 musicians collaborating from all over the world; they may have never met in person, but in this case, the music does the talking.
Turns out there’s a whole heap of other performances on the site
(www.playingforchange.com) – the first you get to is a brief introduction and One World.
Playing for Change is a multimedia movement created to inspire, connect, and bring peace to the world through music. The idea for this project arose from a common belief that music has the power to break down boundaries and overcome distances between people. No matter whether people come from different geographic, political, economic, spiritual or ideological backgrounds, music has the universal power to transcend and unite us as one human race. And with this truth firmly fixed in our minds, we set out to share it with the world.
It’s heady stuff. While I can’t subscribe whole-heartedly to the ideology (the site talks about finding higher consciousness at one point), the philosophy is fantastic, and blessed are the peacemakers. Even more amazingly, charitable foundation has grown out of it that.. well I’ll let them say:
The Playing For Change Foundation is dedicated to connecting the world through music by providing resources to musicians and their communities around the world.
A decade ago a small group of documentary filmmakers set out with a dream to create a film rooted in the music of the streets. Not only has that dream been realized, it has blossomed into a global sensation called Playing For Change, a project including musicians of every level of renown, that has touched the lives of millions of people around the world.
While traveling the world filming and recording musicians, the crew became intimately involved with the music and people of each community they visited. Although many of these communities had limited resources and a modest standard of living, the people in them were full of generosity, warmth, and above all they were connected to each other by a common thread: music.
Out of these discoveries, the Playing For Change Foundation was born and made its mission to ensure that anyone with the desire to receive a music education would have the opportunity to do so. The Playing For Change Foundation is dedicated to the fundamental idea that peace and change are possible through the universal language of music.
House group this week was interesting. We’re doing a study called The Prayers of Jesus, which is a DVD/study book combo looking at, well, the prayers of Jesus.
It’s a series, and we’ve previously done The Parables of Jesus and The Miracles of Jesus. Once you get past the slightly odd bollywood-esque music and Americanisms, the material is top notch – inspiring, interesting, and challenging.
This week was session 2, although the DVD player didn’t work, so we didn’t actually hear what the scholarly types had to say about the passage, which meant an amount of guess work was required in answering the questions in the book. In the end we gave up and had a general discussion about the passage, which was very interesting.
The passage was Luke 18:1-8 (The Persistent Widow), which is a pretty familiar passage and one I felt I knew fairly well. The widow in question kept on and on at the judge until she got what she wanted, and in the same way we must keep on praying.
It’s in the same category (in my mind) as other the great teaching on prayer in Luke 11 – with the chap who gets up in the middle of night because his neighbour keeps pestering him, and then there’s the great no holds barred assertion in vv 9 and 10:
9So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 10 For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
As they say on Alpha – that’s 6 times Jesus says it!
However, when I actually read the passage of the widow again, a rather different element leapt out at me… Here it is, with my emphasis:
1 Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. 2 He said: In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared what people thought. 3 And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’
4For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care what people think, 5 yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually come and attack me!’
6 And the Lord said, Listen to what the unjust judge says. 7 And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? 8 I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?
The widow was actually asking for justice – that is for the right and fair outcome. As I was reflecting on my own prayers, praying for justice doesn’t feature very prominently. Grace and mercy, absolutely – all the time, but justice? And what does it mean for God to give us justice?
As the regular reader will know (Hi Steve – how are you, by the way?), I recently-ish acquired some cheap extension tubes for me camera. These are basically cylinders of metal that move the lens away from the sensor, thereby reducing minimum focussing distance (at the cost of light and depth-of-field).
This enables them to act as a poor-man’s (<10 quid!) macro lens, enabling more than 1:1 reproduction with a full set and a 50mm lens (which happens to be my favourite lens). I’ve already posted some of the pics I’ve taken with them on here.
There are, however, two definite drawbacks to using (cheap) tubes, and one probable drawback.
No electrical contacts mean you lose aperture control (on most lenses) and auto-focus. This in turn means the lens is stuck wide open, leading to
(debatable pro/con) a tiny depth-of-field. Literally millimetres or less. And finally,
you lose a lot of light, requiring a tripod or flash. Akin to this, they are very susceptible to shake. It also will highlight deficiencies in the lens.
That said, they are really good fun!
Can’t do a right royal lot about the auto-focus (except buy a macro lens, or much more expensive tubes with contacts) – although the general trick seems to be to rock backwards and forwards to achieve good focus.
The good news is that you can do something about the aperture (on a Canon, at least) – you can choose the aperture to shoot with! You have to decide the aperture in advance, but it’s well worth doing.
The steps are as follows:
Mount the lens on the camera.
using Av or M modes, dial in the required aperture (f/8 – f/11 seem good choices).
Press the Depth-of-Field Preview button to stop down the lens.
with the button still pressed umount the lens – it will remain stopped down.
Mount it on the tubes, and then both back on the camera.
Voila – enjoy a sensible DoF for macro work (albeit at the cost of even more light).
I caught a snatch of Radio 4 the other day, when a radio presenter was being interviewed, and he was talking about radio being his great passion. Specifically he said
You hear some footballers say I would play football in an empty stadium, and it’s like that for me and radio. I have to do it, even in an ’empty stadium’
His point (I think) was about motivation. Even if a footballer is all alone, in an empty stadium, they will still play football because it’s what they love.
I’ve been thinking about these sorts of things for a while, and what Confucius apparantly said:
Find a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.
I think this is an over-simplification, but it’s a compelling statement with a lot of truth. Find the people who never have to a work a day again in their lives financially (Formula 1 drivers, Rock stars, etc) – and they choose to continue to work. In some cases it’s greed, but I genuinely think a lot of these people have turned their passion into their job, and don’t want to do anything else. The paddock seems to be full of ex-F1 drivers just hanging around really. In these sorts of cases are being paid to do what other people would pay to do!
The next step is of course self-reflection. What are my empty stadia?
Well, there’s obviously ‘blogging/writing (‘cos nobody reads this, I pay to make it available, and still write it!) Photography’s got to be in there. Writing ‘stuff’ for computers (web pages, code, etc). I suppose Church and Growing Leaders, but religion’s kind of in a different category, somehow – and I’d probably add worship leading and preaching (not that I’ve done either recently). I still, at times, wish I’d gone for it and pursued a career in the media – specifically radio. That said, I’m happy in my current situation, and can’t and wouldn’t regret any decision on the way here.
My experience is when I’m doing stuff I’m good at and enjoy (e.g. programming), it doesn’t feel like work, so perhaps Conficius was onto something…
